wishing

I wish for the past,

but press hard into the future.

I'm dying for a life,

even now i know wouldn't work.

I'm rushing a future,

that I'm not sure of.

who am I?

no one has the answer,

and I've stopped answering my calls...

Smiles

These words are who i am

The smiles are what they believe

When pen meets paper I am alive

My eyes shine hollow no one sees

I live in-between the lines of my writing

My empty laughter fills the air

Only here am I real

What you see is not real

My smiles what they choose to believe

Too Great

I give, I retreat

everything here is too great for me

I stand in the shadows of giants

they tower over me

I am weak and feeble

too faint hearted for this place

I lack that special something

easily knocked from grace

I tumble down to darkness

where now i must hide

and all those silly giants

stomp on my pride

for I am too weak

too small

too frail

and too feeble

to be amougnst these giants

so great are they

and I've nothing to give

so I'm done

no more fighting

I'll hide from the failure

evrything was just too great here

Who

I wanna hurt
I wanna bleed
rip this shit out
and make them see

there eyes are caught open
but no ones really looking
there sight is mislead
by the sights they are fed

I am sick and twisted
a sad and lonely thing

I am lost and broken
and the pieces too small to find

I don't exist
but why should I
I'm sick and cold
but who's surprised

maybe I should just scream
if I really want to be seen

Circus Ride

and it'll all crumble down
like a cheap circus ride

and we must go on smiling
like those silly little clowns
with there painted on grins
that hide away there sins

cause its time to go and play
at the carnival today
for the cheap rides
and mediocre thrills

the parade is today
and we'll all go out and wave
with are painted on grins
as it all crumbles down

I wonder

I wonder what I'd do if the bleeding didn't stop

would I just watch as it flows and goes with it my soul?

Would I panic and react and try and keep myself tethered to the ground?

Or would I quietly slip out of this life to the next?

I wonder I wonder..

wrote it in 06

and even with your broken soul you carry on like nothings wrong. Your smile empty your eyes cold, but no one seems to notice. Which is the biggest shame of all.